sharing our stories – Barbara Heagy

“Shame dies when stories are told in safe places.”
~Ann Voskamp

While scanning the menu choices for viewing on my TV last night, I came across an international award-winning documentary called “The Apology” by director Tiffany Hsiung and producer Anita Lee for The National Film Board of Canada on TVO.

It’s a story of the 200,000 young girls and young women who were kidnapped by the Japanese Imperial Army during WWII and taken to “comfort stations” where they were forced into military sexual slavery.

The shame that these ‘comfort women’ carried with them after their release was silently carried for decades until enough of them were encouraged to reveal the truth and begin a path to healing and recovery with their families and their governments before their stories were lost forever as they passed on.

The story is told through the eyes of three elderly women; Grandma Gil in South Korea, Grandma Cao in China, and Grandma Adela in the Philippines. The shame and guilt these women carried for so many years and their bravery and determination to tell their stories and gain a formal apology and compensation from the Japanese government before they are gone is heart-breaking and inspirational.

Through sharing their stories with other victims and finding the courage to finally reveal their hidden truths to their families and those close to them, these women are beginning to find healing and gain international support. In 2014, Gil Won-ok traveled to Geneva, Switzerland where she delivered 1.5 million signatures to the office of the high commissioner of human rights at The United Nations demanding redress to the victims of wartime sexual slavery.

Through telling their stories, past transgressions are brought to light and hope is given to those who survive. When shame, judgement, and blame are set aside it makes room for understanding, healing, and love.

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”
― Brené Brown, ‘Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead’

Last night I attended the ‘Evening of Sharing – The Power of Telling Our Stories’ organized by Lisa Browning, One Thousand Trees Publications. The three speakers inspired me deeply with their unique life stories. They went beyond themselves and shared generously details of their lives from dealing with the death of a loved one, to writing our own stories instead of living through others, and mental illness and depression.

Margaret-Ann Brix shared her children’s story “Grampa’s Butterfly”, Melinda Burns, psychotherapist/writer/poet shared the importance of finding our true selves through writing and journaling, and Clay Williams spoke of his inspirational long distance runs for charity, specifically depression and mood disorders.

I bought Margaret’s book to share with my grandchildren and found her story to be a delightful metaphor on life and death.

Melinda began with a short meditation that focused and centered us. Her lesson was about mindfulness, being our true selves in the present moment. We can learn about ourselves by writing down our thoughts and feelings. She spoke of the difference between thinking, writing, and telling our stories. Writing is that safe space between thinking and telling, where we can record our thoughts and feelings in a safe space with no judgement from others.

Clay encouraged us to sign the Canadian flag that he carries with him when he runs in remembrance of someone we know who suffers with mental illness. “I would be honoured to run in their name,” he said. My signature joined hundreds of others to uplift those in my life that I care and pray for.

Thank you to all three speakers and to Lisa for organizing this special evening. Lisa holds “Evenings of Sharing” every month, each on a different theme. You can check them out at her website www.onethousandtrees.com.