family – Barbara Heagy

FOMO or What a Busy Summer!

What a summer it has been. COVID restrictions were lifted and the world went a little crazy. We all jumped into our new found freedom like lambs let loose into a spring pasture. Everything that had been cancelled for up to three years during the pandemic was suddenly happening and I didn’t want to miss a thing.

It was a whirlwind of travel, concerts, visits, day trips, and events. At times it felt a little busy with the constant packing and unpacking, driving, and crowds but I kept going as I knew it would be short-lived. Summers are short in our part of the country. Fall comes way too soon. It wasn’t just me. It seemed my friends and family all had that condition known as FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and plans were made for constant activity throughout the summer.

I have hardly been home since June. The month started with the Orangeville Jazz & Blues Festival, the Writers’ Festival at Wellington County Museum, an Ed Sheeran concert in Toronto, and my Photo Club Picnic at a local park. It ended with a week-long trip to a beautiful resort in Vermont with some of my family.

My Writers’ Club continued to meet every Thursday and we had a barbecue at one of our homes early July. My family went camping at Killbear Provincial Park and we joined them for a couple of days and took in the 30,000 Island Boat Tour. My friend and I attended the Weiner Dog Races at Grand River Raceway in Elora. Such fun and so many laughs! We went to the Orangeville Rib Festival and I spent 5 days camping and volunteering at the Hillside Music Festival with my family. I also drove a total of five hours so I could attend my granddaughter’s first birthday party.

In August, I had a ½ day turnaround to get ready for 9 days of house-sitting at my brother’s lakeside home up in Bancroft (it was SO relaxing), followed by a few days to cut my lawn, pull some weeds, attend a meteor shower party with friends and then head out to Cape Croker for 5 days of camping and a traditional powwow. I visited friends who live in Lion’s Head, went Nia dancing on a local beach, and visited a local gallery The Art Shoppe as well as a local artist’s studio. I managed to have some time with another friend and we went to a sunflower farm in Ariss, the Kitchener Blues Festival, the movie Barbie, and the Guelph Ribfest.

It’s now Labour Day weekend, the traditional end of summer and I finish the summer off with my grandkids and friend at the Orangeville Fall Fair. Whew! It makes me tired just writing about it all. My grandson hopes we will get some fishing in too.

I really thought things would start to slow down in September. In fact, I was looking forward to it. My poor garden is alive thanks to all the rain we had this summer but it sure wouldn’t win any prizes and I haven’t written anything new for my upcoming book in the last three months. It’s wonderful that my summer has been so full of fun activities but after the isolation and quiet of the past three years, the constant activity has felt a little overwhelming at times.

September is already starting to fill up. I have four lunches and a dinner planned with family and friends, two theatre events, a short overnight get-away, and a three-day stay with family to help out with my new granddaughter. There’s a photo club field trip and lunch on the books and a local festival with family. Things do not seem to be slowing down.

I sound like I’m complaining. I’m not. I’m very grateful for my family, my friends, my health, and the opportunities to do so much. Life is full. I just wish the cup would empty once in a while before it gets topped-up so quickly. Perhaps I can start sipping at it instead of chugging it down. It’s all a matter of choices and control, isn’t it? It wouldn’t hurt to miss out on a few things and start prioritizing my daily activities and find some restful time to slow down and contemplate life once again. I relish that. Maybe it’ll happen in October.

Who Counts As Family?

I am presently taking a genealogy course to trace my family line. Yesterday we registered with Ancestry.ca and I have begun creating my family tree.

I quickly realized that it seems to be set up for direct blood lines. My family is not that simple. My father passed away when I was 7 years old, mom remarried, and my new dad legally adopted us and, within a few years, I had two new brothers, one passed, one still alive.

My mother and new dad divorced years later and Dad remarried. I now have a whole new family of sisters and a brother, nieces and nephews. Later, I divorced and remarried and, once again, the family expanded.

Doing my family tree, I have asked myself “Who counts as family?” Even though we may not be related through direct blood lineage, my new family members are truly family to me.

From Familyhistorydaily.com – “In our daily lives, family often has less to do with biological or legal connections and more to do with personal relationships. Those people who are intimate parts of our lives, who we love and care for, who care for us, are our family. What makes a mother, father, sibling, child, grandchild is seldom straightforward.”

I’m hoping as I delve further into my family tree that there will be options to break out into all directions. For after all, family are tied together with far more than just blood and DNA. Love and commitment are binding glue that hold us together throughout our lives.

A Simpler Christmas

It’s only two days away and Christmas will be upon us. Each year I make Christmas simpler and simpler and yet I still hold on to many of my traditions that make the holiday festive. It’s not easy to hold back as we move through the season. Stores flaunt and push their wares. People around us are rushing here and there filling their carts with gifts and foodstuffs and often overextending themselves in both energy and money. I have had to hold myself in check and stick to a budget so I don’t get carried away too.

For me, it’s important to have a tree up in my home but I brought out fewer decorations and lights this year. It’s still beautiful. Gift buying and wrapping was finished earlier than ever for me and it feels wonderful to have the presents all wrapped and under the tree waiting for our celebration on Christmas Day. Family are coming for several days and I am getting the floors swept, the rugs vacuumed, and tabletops dusted.

I’m not a baker and so I felt very lucky to find a Cookie Extravaganza at a local church and was able to buy dozens of fresh, homemade cookies ready to share with friends and family.

For a month now, I have been attending lunch and dinner parties with small groups of friends as we celebrate our long-time friendships. It has been much more meaningful to take part in smaller, more intimate groups rather than large noisy parties.

I always seek out an opportunity to take part in some sing-along Christmas carolling and I also enjoy attending my grandson’s Winter Celebration at his school. This past weekend I attended a wonderful Winter Concert at our local theatre and have been listening to Christmas music non-stop.

I always appreciate the outdoor light displays and have been able to enjoy them over this month as so many have generously decorated their homes and yards for community benefit. The local town puts on its yearly display in a park and it’s tradition to go for a nighttime walk through the sparkling paths.

I’ve taken some moments to think about those who may not be having a joyful season. There are many suffering from past losses and I have taken time to write, pray, and share with others who have needed some extra love this season. There are many that financially just don’t have the resources to partake in all the Christmas buying and preparations. I have donated food, gifts, and money to others to add a little extra to their lives this holiday as others have done for me and my family in the past during difficult times.

Christmas crafts with my grandkids, and some minimal card and letter writing have nicely rounded out the preparations for the Christmas Day celebration. I have been busy but not as busy as I have in other years. I enjoy my traditions but have tried to not let them overwhelm me. We get caught up in the hustle and bustle in our attempts to achieve that ultimate Christmas that we hold as the ideal. I was in the library the other day and an older woman was complaining to the librarian. “I hate Christmas. All the gifts and wrapping and food preparation. And then there’s the house cleaning. It’s too much! I’m going home to lie down. I’m exhausted already.” I looked at the clock and noted that it was only 10:00 a.m. Why does she do this to herself?, I thought.

I hope that the Christmas preparations haven’t overwhelmed you. Try and keep things simple. Think about what’s really important to you and focus on that. For me, that’s family time. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing as much as taking the time to just be with each other. I also take time to reflect and refocus on ‘the reason for the season’ as I think about that little Babe born long ago. It’s a magical story.

Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy your holiday time, whatever you do.

Tradition

“Because of our traditions, we have kept our balance for many, many years.”

~ Teyve – Fiddler on the Roof

This weekend some of my Christmas traditions kicked in, helping to ignite my Christmas spirit.

I attended the Toonie Turkey Supper at St. John’s Anglican Church, Orangeville, where friends from the past gathered to enjoy a delicious turkey dinner with all the trimmings — a night meant to celebrate community and promote fellowship.

That same night, my family went downtown to celebrate the seasonal Tractor Parade of Lights. It was fun to be so close to the roaring tractors and big farm machinery and rigs all lit up with twinkling, colourful lights.

The next morning, we took the grandchildren to the annual Candy Cane Fair at the local hospital. For $2, the grandchildren were escorted away by an elf to choose and wrap a small gift for their mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa. This event is meant to help children get into the spirit of gift-giving during the holiday season and raise some funds for hospital equipment. Santa was there with Mrs. Claus for picture taking and there were craft tables and raffle tickets.

We went home again but only for a short while before we headed downtown again for the annual Santa Claus Parade with its colourful floats, marching bands and community participation.

Traditions are important. They give us a sense of belonging and add a secure rhythm to the seasons. They bring family and community together to enrich our lives and create memories. Through traditions, we reconnect with each other, find balance in our lives, and a little bit of magic.

What are some of your traditions?

A Perfect Day

I opened my eyes, adjusting to the morning light streaming through the crack in the curtains. Byron, my daughter’s dog, had decided to sleep with me last night and once he realized I was awake, he covered my face with kisses in anticipation of a morning walk. He waited patiently while I dressed and we quietly stepped outside onto the back lawn with its cloak of morning dew. Spring flowers were bursting, birds were singing.

Back inside, I started the morning coffee, turned on the computer, and then stuck my head in to see if my daughter and grandson were awake. There they were, in the middle of a morning feed, throwing smiles and kisses my way. Within a few minutes, my daughter brought my little grandson, just nine weeks old, out for morning cuddles while she slept a little longer.

He watched me as I finished my morning writing and emails, those bright Wedgewood Blue eyes not missing a beat. As our gaze caught, his big smile filled my heart.

Maegan woke up and after another bit of visiting, she left for a good long run with the dog along the river trails. My little guy and I had more cuddle and smile time. Holding a little baby in your arms is a precious thing.

When she and the dog returned, a bountiful breakfast and good conversation made for an easy-paced morning. Before I knew it, they had to go to head off for an appointment later in the day.

As I waved goodbye, I said a quiet prayer of gratitude for the love of my daughter, her little guy, and her beloved pet.

I got some computer work finished, notices, letters of thanks, and future appointments and retreated out to the back patio with my book and a warm cup of tea for the rest of the afternoon. The sky was blissfully blue, the birds were still singing, butterflies were dancing and a gentle breeze kept me cool in the warming sun.

Ah . . . this day couldn’t be better. Simple pleasures of shared family love, good food, good conversation, sunshine, spring flowers, butterflies and birds are all I need in my life. At least for this day. This perfect gem of a day.