Barbara Heagy

The drummer in the corner kept the beat, a syncopated rhythm that began to find its way into my body. A heartbeat. Breathe in, breathe out.

“. . . 5, 6 7, 8, . . . “ the teacher called.

The dancers began picking up the beat, moving across the floor. Right foot, left foot, step, pause, step, pause. Arms extended outwards, wing-like, palms down, palms up, repeat, repeat, again and again. Upper body arching, look down, look up, see the earth, see the sky. Feet, arms, torso, eyes, caught in the rhythm, the body flowing, lost in the driving drum beat that kept us dancing. Heart, breath, body, as one.

Then suddenly, it all changed. On the next upswing my body became charged, pure energy poured out of me like a spotlight searching upwards for its mark. Its beam shot into the universe.

Judy, my teacher, yelled out, “Beautiful!”

I knew she meant it for me. She saw it. Somehow, it transformed me. My body dropped down with the next beat and as quickly as it had come, it was gone. The magic disappeared.

I stood in the corner of the room, the dance over, but my body still reverberated with that glorious experience of light where I became a conduit for a beam of energy that came from . . . where?
What just happened to me? Where did that come from?

And, just like that, I was hooked and I knew I would spend the rest of my life searching for that magic once again, hoping to find it, control it, use it to consciously express an art form that I was only just a novice in.

That day, I became a dancer.

I learned to use space, body, action, time, and energy to express my feelings and create dances and theatre pieces with movement and the body, the way an artist expresses their passion with paints and brushes, or a writer brings their thoughts and ideas to life with words.

For years, I studied contemporary dance and ballet, even for a period, classical East Indian dance. I learned a deep awareness of my body and its natural power. I learned to refine my movements, to strengthen and control my form. Through improvisation, I learned to trust the natural flow of the spirit, to allow it to find its own life within. I learned the art of choreography and was able to perform with a professional company for six years until the responsibility of a young family drew me home.

And yet, the passion was still strong. Where else but through dance can one fly or throw your energy to the stars, connect to the earth as a tree connects to the soil, and join with another’s soul?

I carried on teaching dance and performed my own works as a solo artist and with my young protegees wherever and whenever I could. I had taught dance for over fifteen years until I decided that at age 37, it was time for something different and I returned to university for a Bachelor of Education degree. I continued to perform but left the dance studio and focused my energies toward my own artistic projects and my school.

But the seeds of creativity had been planted deep and 11 years later, I was accepted to York University for a Master of Arts, Dance major. Now, once again, it was for me, just me. I continued to teach at my elementary school but dance bubbled up once again inside.

After retirement, my older body sought a new way of moving and Nia dance and conscious dance became vehicles to go deep within to my natural energy source, to find a technique that honoured who I had become. Once again, I re-visited improvisation, free flow, deep body awareness, and connection with others on the dance floor.

Today, dance continues to live within me. I am a dancer.