Writing – Barbara Heagy

On Rejection as a Writer

I recently received Alison Wearing’s Memoir Writing, Ink newsletter and she had this to say about rejection as a writer —

“Every year, I try to remind people that Every Writer Faces Rejection. Every. Single. Freaking. One. It’s not an anomaly, it’s not a measure of talent (or character), it’s part of the process that writers everywhere endure. So, rather than taking rejection as evidence that you are not a writer, it’s also possible to take it as evidence that you are.”

~Alison Wearing, Memoir Writing, Ink

“Louisa May Alcott was told to “Stick to your teaching.” Ayn Rand’s ‘Atlas Shrugged’ was deemed “unsalable and unpublishable.” One publisher found Ernest Hemingway’s ‘The Sun Also Rises’ “to be both tedious and offensive.”

By Mental Floss UK |Dec 1, 2023″

The list goes on. Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows; George Orwell, Animal Farm; H. G. Wells, The War of the Worlds; Joseph Heller, Catch-22; Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five, all received rejection letters when they first submitted their works.

Add authors Ursala K. Le Guin, Jack Kerouac, Stephen King, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Louisa May Alcott, John le Carré, Gertrude Stein and D. H. Lawrence to the list and I think you may be getting the picture.

Rejection is simply a part of life as a writer. You can’t please everybody. A thick skin helps but, whatever you do, don’t give up. In this day and age, there is always self-publication. Many authors who decided to self-publish after rejection by traditional publishers have gone on to be successful. Wildly successful. These include Margaret Atwood, Lisa Genova, EL James, E. E. Cummings, and Mark Twain. There are also many media sites out there to highlight your work and begin creating your own readers. Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and blog sites are all public platforms to showcase your work. Literary magazines and newsletters are always looking for new material.

Whatever you do as a writer, DON’T GIVE UP. Keep writing, keep creating, keep dreaming.

Thank you, Samantha

Yesterday I spent several hours trying to work out my printer problems. I finally gave up and called the company HP Smart for technical support. The technician who I was hooked up with was called Samantha. Now, normally these calls can be hours long (which it was) and can be full of frustration and annoyance (which it wasn’t).

Because a variety of attempts to clear up my problem were needed, we both acknowledged that this was going to take a long time and some of the downloading processes were going to be very slow. We both settled in for the long haul.

For the next two or three hours, Samantha and I worked together to try and solve my problems. Meanwhile, we got to know each other as two human people with much in common. Even though we were separated by half a world (she was in India, I was in Canada), she seemed much younger than me (that’s an assumption), and we were two complete strangers, we connected.

She initiated the conversation and we quickly found out that we both had a love of writing, I a published author/a memoirist and she a daily journal writer and poet. We shared our losses in life of those close to us, including our beloved pets. We told stories about our loved ones. We shared our favourite poets and some of their work. We both love Mary Oliver. We laughed and cried and found common ground in our zest for life.

Slowly she helped me work out my printer problem and slowly we go to know each other as new friends. We both acknowledged that wouldn’t it be wonderful if we should meet some day face-to-face. When all was finally cleared and my printer was working again, it was time to say goodbye. “I’m having trouble saying goodbye,” she said. “Me, too,” I said. “Thank you for all you did for me and shared with me. You were wonderful.”

Will I ever talk with Samantha again? That would be unlikely for you know that when you call these companies, you are given a random agent, whoever is free at the time. But I am thankful for the time spent with Samantha. We had a very special connection.

Reach out to others. Despite distance and age and circumstances, we are all human. Thank you, Samantha. I enjoyed getting to know you. You made my day very special. In honour of you let me share your favourite Mary Oliver poem with others as you shared with me.

“When Death Comes.”

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

—Mary Oliver

1 Teaspoon of Paprika

The Internet is a wonderful place for synchronistic connections. I was working on my next chapter “Pass It On” which focuses on recipes passed down from my Hungarian Grandma Haydu. Many of them include Hungarian Paprika with its unique taste. It is different from other paprikas and Hungarians can tell the difference. Well, lo and behold, I came across this beautiful photograph on another Facebook site I belong to and thought “How perfect!”

The photographer Phillip Dove lives in Saltburn-by-the-Sea, United Kingdom, and graciously allowed me to use his photograph in my upcoming book “For the Love of Food: Family Edition.” All he asked for in return was a copy of my grandma’s Hungarian Goulash which I gladly sent to him. Thank you, Phillip. Check out his website at phillipdovephotography.com

Pass It On

I am now working on my next chapter of my upcoming book “For the Love of Food: Family Edition.” The chapter is called “Pass It On” and I write about our connections to our descendants.

“Look back. Our descendants made us who we are today. We fit together like nesting dolls going back and back in circles of time. Because of my mother, I exist. Because of her mother, she exists.

Our bodies are living continuations of our parents, our grandparents, and all those that came before them, generation upon generation. Our ancestors are literally a living part of us. We carry their diets, their lifestyles, their hopes, their traumas, within our very cells. My hands become our hands. My spirit becomes their spirit.

When I smell the spicy scent of paprika, I am sent down the paths of the past to Hungarian kitchens, to cuisine birthed in European soils. When a cloud of flour rises off grandma’s wooden noodle board, I envision golden stalks of wheat and oats flowing across miles and miles of Canadian prairie fields waving in the distance. The soft touch of a feathery dill that tickles my nose when I bend to take in its powerful scent, sends me back through the past to steaming kitchens as cooks fill crocks and bottles with nature’s bounty. When I shake the dirt off a carrot yanked fresh out of the garden, I am doing what my ancestors did as they worked their fields with sun on their backs, mud on their feet and fullness in their hearts.”
~Barbara Heagy from “For the Love of Food: Family Edition”

Google Yourself – Be Surprised

Every once in a while, it pays to check yourself out on Google, especially if you are an author/writer. In 2015, I published my book “10 – A Story of Life, Loss, and Life” through Balboa Press, the self-publishing branch of Hay House Publishing. This week I checked my book out online and found that it was offered on many sites throughout the world.

You can order my book through Google Books, Chapters Indigo, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon where it has a 4.6/5 rating. It’s available in Kindle, paperback, or hard cover versions. What surprised me the most was you can also order it through online companies around the world: Waterstones (England/Wales), Thrift Books (USA), Booktopia (Australia), adlibris.com (Sweden), libreriauniversitaria.it (an Italian company based in El Salvador), Rakuten Kobo (USA) and the French Friac.

That’s heartening to know that my book is still out there and available to so many people. It’s not making me rich but that wasn’t the reason I published it. This was a book to honour Tom, my deceased husband, and to offer hope and comfort to others who may be going through a great loss themselves.

Of course, you can always come out to Wellington County Museum & Archives this Saturday, June 10, 11 – 4, and buy a signed copy in person from me. Hope to see you there. https://www.wellington.ca/…/wellington-county-writers…

Writing Your Life Story

Back in September 2022, I joined a local Memoir Writers’ Club that meets weekly. The focus is on writing our life stories as an autobiography, written in chronological order. Jennifer, our group leader, wrote her own memoir during COVID isolation and felt that perhaps others would like to record their life story. She felt led to offer her experience and guide other seniors through the process.

I joined the club because I had a memoir-in-progress titled “For the Love of Food – Family Edition” and wanted the company of other writers for feedback and encouragement. I have been working on my memoir/cookbook for about a year now and am now about ½ way through it. It is unusual, not your standard memoir, but I feel led to write it in this form and am enjoying it immensely. I truly see food as a love language and I can see how food has shaped my life through five generations of my family. I am aiming to publish it for a public market. I am continuing with my book, in my own way, but I do enjoy our class and don’t mind writing on the topics suggested by Jennifer. My book has and will be taking a totally different form than what she has suggested to other club members but I have still found our class to be of value to me. The stories bring back many memories and are good writing practice.

I think our class is very special. There is definitely a desire for all of us to record our stories. I think the reasons for writing our life stories may differ and, perhaps, some may not even know why they want to write, and yet the need and desire is there. Some write because their family has requested it. Some may write truly for themselves as an assessment of their own lives. We all want to know our lives matter. We want to know we left a mark. We value our memories and want a record of them left behind. Perhaps our families are not the least bit interested in reading them at this time but, one never knows, there may come a day when they are glad to have the stories and the information and memories they contain. I know my own daughters didn’t value their old journals from school but as they aged and had children of their own, now they do. Perhaps some day our stories may be of value and interest and be read by many others as snapshots from the past.

There is no doubt that there is a close bond that has been built in our group. I keep attending and writing, even though I won’t be publishing my stories in the way suggested. I love hearing other’s stories and sharing our lives. I love story! And we all have them. We all think, “I have nothing of interest to others” but, in the end, we do. Sharing our simple memorable moments is a wonderful way to share our lives and identify with each other or learn new things. Even if we all visit Paris, we each will have a unique story to tell about it from our own perspective. There is value in that.

Thank you, Jennifer, for your gentle and encouraging guidance. You have given us an opportunity to remember our lives and share them with others. I have a new group of friends. It’s what keeps us coming.

Mad as a Hatter

I’ve always been intrigued with the history of common everyday expressions and idioms. I came across an article in an online article in Pocket Worthy titled “Everyday Sayings Explained” put together by Stylist Team as gathered from Phrase Finder.

We’ve all heard these phrases which we liberally use in our everyday language — “Hold a candle to . . . The hair of the dog that bit you . . . A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”

One such phrase is “Mad as a Hatter.” It originates from the 18th century. Hat makers used to use mercury in the forming of their hats as it bonded the felt into a tighter firmer mat. The mercury, however, was a poison that affected the nervous system of the hat makers and caused them to go mad.

In the book “Alice in Wonderland” by Lewis Carroll, the illustration of the Mad Hatter shows a 10/6 on his hat which is the price of his hat, 10 shillings 6 pence. For fun, some celebrate National Mad Hatter Day which is held on October 6.

Google Phrase Finder to find the story behind many more of our common sayings.

For the Love of Food – A Celebration

Writing continues on my upcoming memoir cookbook that honours the place of food and family in our lives. The following is a poem that will be in the opening chapter:

A Celebration by Barbara Heagy

Food and cooking is a celebration.

It’s a celebration of family, community, and togetherness.
Gathered around a table laden with good, wholesome food, laughing, and sharing stories.
Coming together to
Chop and blend,
Fold and stir,
A joyous circle of belonging.
Here, I am part of a whole.

It’s a celebration of the senses.
The colours of a leafy salad with bright tomatoes, green cucumbers, and orange, red, and yellow peppers.
The soft, gluten feel of bread kneaded in your hands.
The exotic aroma of a scented curry with cumin, coriander, turmeric, and cardamom.
The crunching sound of crispy celery, a juicy apple, or the thick, warm bubbling of a stove-top stew.
The taste that melts in your mouth, burns your tongue, or bursts on your taste buds in sheer delight.

It’s a celebration of the body, re-energized and rejuvenated or sated with belly full.
Perhaps I may not remember what I ate but my body remembers the generosity and love in which the food was given.
I remember being
Welcomed and embraced,
Comforted and consoled,
My heart nourished.

It is a celebration of nature,
A cycle of seed, growth, harvest, and preparation
Recognizing and respecting the circle of life.
We acknowledge the sun, and the rain, and the fertile soils,
The passing of the seasons.
We recognize the sacrifice of the animals given for our good.
We are thankful for
Our beloved planet and all its gifts
So freely given.

It’s a celebration of tradition.
A gathering cast in time
To be remembered and honoured
Season after season,
Generation after generation.
A rhythm of lives past that never forgets
As we pass on our skills.

It’s a celebration of culture,
Of diversity and unity.
I remember who I am
And where I come from.
I praise who you are
And where you come from.
I travel the world
Tasting its variety and goodness,
Raw or prepared,
Simple or exotic.
It is an opportunity to applaud you and your life.

It’s a celebration of time,
A pause,
An acknowledgement of each other
In our busy lives.
We meet together in gratitude
As we greet and thank those that laboured,
Farmer or cook,
Gave of themselves
For these gifts before us.
Sometimes we choose a day or moment
And mark it special,
Happy Birthday to you,
Merry Christmas,
And we create rites and rituals that intensify
Its meaning and importance
Not only for us but for future generations.
We hope to always remember
To value each other and our contributions
For our better good and fulfillment.

Printer Problems? Apply Force

grayscale photo of gray and black metal machine

A while back, I was having printer issues and my daughter Brittany happened to be visiting. The screen was flashing an ERROR message, so she found a YouTube video that highlighted the same problem. We studiously followed the instructions, step by step, but it didn’t solve the problem. We tried other videos. The printer still wasn’t working. So we went to a chat line of other people who had the same problem. Seven out of the seven people all suggested some form of tapping, smacking, jerking, jarring or dropping it. Well, we unplugged it, raised it up from the floor about three inches and dropped it. We plugged it back in AND IT WORKED! I have had the same problem once since then. I didn’t waste my energy this time. I unplugged it, gave it a little drop, plugged it back in and, again, it worked. It’s been fine ever since. Some call this Percussive Maintenance, the Technical Tap, Impact Calibration, or Kinetic Realignment. Whatever you want to call it, it seems to work. The old adage holds some truth. “Not working. Give it a good kick.”

I know. I know. It’s probably only temporary. But I’ll take it. There’s another old adage, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Meanwhile, I probably should be keeping an eye on printer sales.

Support Your Local Authors and Book Stores

Because my first book I published was through Balboa Press, a self-publishing company associated with Hay House Publishing, I get many requests over the years through e-mails and phone messages from companies that want to help me with further publishing and marketing strategies. The problems with these are they are American. Because I published my book with an American company, all my publishing and printing costs are in US$. I pay greater shipping costs, including duty, for my books that have to cross the border into Canada. When they sell through Amazon, my publisher takes their first cut, then the American government taxes me for my royalty earnings. There are forms (W-8BEN) to be filled out for the reimbursement of those dollars, and I did pay a specialized Canadian accountant to help me submit these forms, but for some reason the US government refused my submission and requested that it be re-submitted. Needless to say, I have been a little frustrated with the whole procedure by using an American company for my book publishing. I now use Canadian companies only. It’s cheaper in the long run for me, less complicated, and more hands-on and manageable.

My books are available through Amazon but as a self-published author, most of my books have been sold by word-of-mouth to Canadian book buyers either through personal sales or Canadian Indie Book Stores. I am thankful for these stores that continue to carry my books for a fair price. My books are available at Bookshelf, Guelph, Ontario and Booklore, Orangeville, Ontario. I am thankful for these stores that promote me and other authors. I also have copies available which I will ship to you for a nominal postal fee. My books “10 – A Story of Live, Life, and Loss” and “Good Grief People” are available for $20 and generally a $5 shipping fee, depending on where they will be shipped.

Support your Canadian authors and book store owners. Check out Canadian Independent Bookstore Day, April 30, at a local Indie book store. You may have an opportunity to meet a live author and buy a signed book or you may win a prize of $250, $500, or $1000 to the Canadian independent bookstore of your choice.