A Bad Day

“Was it a bad day?

  Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?”

~Unknown

We all have bad days. My new year has not started out well. I was sick as I stepped into the first week of January, then I took my car in for a winter tire exchange only to find I needed a full brake job that cost me $1800+. My right knee, which has bothered me for years, is the worst it’s ever been, and I have started physiotherapy twice a week to try and resolve that and avoid surgery if I can.

I can look at the flip side of all these problems. Being sick stopped me in my tracks of a life that I notoriously fill to the brim with activity. I was quiet, read books, watched movies, wrote friendly e-mails, and had ample amounts of time to think about my life and my future.

We know that cars cost money. They are not an investment that keeps growing. I can rest assured that my brakes and emergency brake are now set for many years of use with no problems.

Although my physiotherapy is not easy, I have found an exercise program that works! This is my third time investing in the GLA:D program for those with identified osteoarthritis in knees or hips over several years. I attend bi-weekly and look forward to getting stronger with each session. And if it doesn’t, then I will look at surgery. I am thankful that I haven’t had to do that yet.

So, when people ask how are you, I don’t focus on my lousy beginning to my year. I say, I’m feeling great now, thank you. My car got fixed and I got extra visits in with my daughter and family as they helped me out by lending me their car over five days. Bonus! I have started my physiotherapy and I am confident that I will get stronger as the weeks pass. How lucky I am that I have access to such a program with my benefit package.

Yes, the year started out badly but it also had many benefits. I could dwell on the negatives and make myself miserable and probably all those around me as I complain constantly. Or, I could say, yay, I got through that and I move forward with expectations of good things happening. I choose what I focus on. I choose to find the positives out of negative situations and live my life with hope and gratitude. We all can do that. Choose to be happy.

Don’t Be Afraid to Dream

We all have dreams, but do we have the courage to live those dreams?

I remember a friend telling me she was too fearful to ask for love in her life because she was so afraid that if she got it, it would be ripped out of her life like a tablecloth being ripped off a table pulling all the fancy china with it. She was so afraid of achieving her dream because she was already anticipating the pain of losing it.

I told her that maybe, just maybe, the dishes will remain solidly on the table. That’s what makes it “the magical tablecloth trick.” If we never take the gamble, we will never get to experience the joy of living our dreams.

It doesn’t matter what the dream is. Maybe you desire a fancy car but won’t get it because you’re afraid it will get scratched in the parking lot or stolen. Perhaps you desire a child but can’t stomach the thought of losing that child while they are still young.  Or maybe you have a dream to travel but won’t because you’re afraid you’ll get pick-pocketed or catch some horrible disease if you do. Maybe you want a better job, but you don’t believe you’re capable of handling it.

Just dream. And start stepping towards the fulfillment of that dream. Believing it will come true and all will be well takes courage as well as an acceptance that it might not. But how will I ever know unless I take those first steps and begin the journey?

Happy New Year 2025

Waking up into the first day of 2025, I am feeling a little better after days of sickness. I think I’m on the upswing.

I’ve been hearing the word ‘resolutions’ a lot in the last 24 hours, and I have been sure that I had none for this coming year of 2025. But the more I think about it, I do have some hopes and dreams. I spent a lot of time working on my new book in 2024 and now that it’s complete, it’s time to focus on some new goals.

I am embracing my health, and have already signed up for 10 weeks of physiotherapy for my right knee that has been slowly getting worse for the last twenty years. It’s time again to work on fortifying those muscles surrounding my joints and my core and regain my strength and ability to keep moving and doing the things I want to do. I start next week with a wonderful program that I have used before called the GLA:D Program, an eight-week group exercise and educational program developed in Denmark for people with symptoms of knee or hip osteoarthritis (OA). GLA:D. stands for “Good Life with OsteoArthritis: Denmark”. It’s a very effective program, and it’s either that or surgery. I much prefer the physiotherapy.

I bought a used RV back in September 2023 and did manage to use it a few times in 2024. I plan on even more camping with family and friends and maybe even some extended road trips this coming year. I need to start planning and booking those if they’re going to happen.

I want to see more of friends and family. Years of COVID and isolation have taken its toll and this is the year that I want to step out and see people and places I’ve been missing for years. Again, it takes an effort and some pre-planning. It’s not going to happen with just a simple “One of these days, we’ll get together . . . “.

Wherever I travel, I will be taking my new book “For the Love of Food: Family Edition” with me, perhaps even doing a small book tour across parts of Canada. Again, it’s going to take some planning and organization. It won’t just happen on its own.

So, I have something to look forward to. I hope you are allowing yourself to dream and are making some plans to achieve your dreams. May 2025 be a year of fulfillment. Happy New Year!

A New Stuffing Recipe

I’ve been asked to make a double batch of stuffing for our Christmas gathering this year. The challenge I’m presented with is to make it gluten and dairy-free, as we have a couple of family members with preferred dietary choices. My old stuffing recipe that is in my new memoir/cookbook “For the Love of Food: Family Edition” will not do.

After sharing stuffing ideas with my step-sisters Audrey, Carla, and Tammy, they have inspired me to try some new ideas.

Audrey told us she uses a variety of breads for her stuffing. I bought two kinds of bread: hand-crafted gluten-free sourdough and gluten-free brioche. She also lets it sit out on the counter unwrapped for a day to dry out, but not to crispy stage. I like that and will do the same as I prefer a moister, soft stuffing.

I normally use copious amounts of butter, but this year I will be using dairy-free plant-based butter, something new for me.

My regular celery, onions, mushrooms, will be in my new stuffing. As well, I will be using eggs for binding and gluten-free chicken stock.

Audrey chooses to use fresh sage and herbs from her own garden. I will use large amounts of poultry seasoning, which is a blend of dried sage, thyme, rosemary, marjoram, white pepper, black pepper, and a tiny pinch of nutmeg for warmth. How much? I never measure. I stick my nose over the bowl and decide by scent. There’s a certain intense smell that I know when I have the right amount.

Because I’m using a sweeter brioche bread, I’m going to add dried cranberries and perhaps chopped pecans to my stuffing this year.

I normally stuff both ends of the turkey with my stuffing but I will not be cooking the turkey this year. My stuffing, this year, will be baked in a deep casserole dish, covered, as I am not a big fan of crunchy stuffing. Probably 350°F for 40-50 minutes.

I’ll let you know how it turns out.

How about you? What are some of your stuffing ideas and ingredients? Care to share them with us?

A New Book – For the Love of Food: Family Edition

For the Love of Food: Family Edition is a collection of stories and recipes praising food as a language of love through five generations of the author’s family. This memoir/cookbook is a testament to the life-giving power of food as it moves from field to table with gratitude, bonding, and celebration.

It’s a book for readers who love to cook, and cooks who love to read. Reminisce about your own mealtime memories and be inspired. Get into the kitchen and start cooking!

“This book is a beautiful reminder of how food can be a powerful vessel for preserving and sharing our most treasured family moments.””
~Amy McIntyre, Wine Educator, European Travel Planner

“A feast of joyful cooking.”
~Donna McCaw, Author, Across the Great Divide and It’s Your Time

“As she takes you down memory lane, she whets your taste buds. You’ll find yourself in the kitchen cooking up a storm immersed in your own memories.”
~Ruth Smith Meyer, Author, Out of the Ordinary and Chains of Shame

“Barbara Heagy has created a cozy, comforting read that stimulates your appetite and makes you want to get into your own kitchen and start cooking.”
~Wendy Jamieson, Chef, Restaurateur (Forage Restaurant)

“Her passion and love of food is apparent as she shares recipes and stories from her own life. Although not a professional chef, she honours food with a diverse palate and a plethora of fresh ingredients.”
~Matthew Bach Jamieson, Head Chef and Restaurateur (Mad Apples, Woodside, Forage Restaurants)

Paperback copies are available through Amazon.ca, hardcover copies through Amazon.com, or through an email message at barb_mcquarrie@hotmail.com

I’m Unraveling

I felt I hit my peak at age 50. Truly the top of the mountain. Wonderful things were happening in my life; love, career, health, opportunity but I could see the downward slope of my life in my future as I aged. One could call it a crisis. But I like Brene Brown’s take on it. It’s an unraveling. Now in the autumn of my life, I know my days here on this planet grow shorter but because of that I am less inclined to waste them. I want to enjoy every day, take on new challenges, breathe in new experiences, be who I want to be, not who others want me to be. Life is precious. Live it. Live it fully. Right to the end. BH

“People may call what happens at midlife “a crisis”.

But it’s not.

It’s an unraveling . . .

a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live not the one you’re supposed to live.

The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be

And to embrace who you are.”

~Brene Brown

On Rejection as a Writer

I recently received Alison Wearing’s Memoir Writing, Ink newsletter and she had this to say about rejection as a writer —

“Every year, I try to remind people that Every Writer Faces Rejection. Every. Single. Freaking. One. It’s not an anomaly, it’s not a measure of talent (or character), it’s part of the process that writers everywhere endure. So, rather than taking rejection as evidence that you are not a writer, it’s also possible to take it as evidence that you are.”

~Alison Wearing, Memoir Writing, Ink

“Louisa May Alcott was told to “Stick to your teaching.” Ayn Rand’s ‘Atlas Shrugged’ was deemed “unsalable and unpublishable.” One publisher found Ernest Hemingway’s ‘The Sun Also Rises’ “to be both tedious and offensive.”

By Mental Floss UK |Dec 1, 2023″

The list goes on. Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows; George Orwell, Animal Farm; H. G. Wells, The War of the Worlds; Joseph Heller, Catch-22; Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five, all received rejection letters when they first submitted their works.

Add authors Ursala K. Le Guin, Jack Kerouac, Stephen King, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Louisa May Alcott, John le Carré, Gertrude Stein and D. H. Lawrence to the list and I think you may be getting the picture.

Rejection is simply a part of life as a writer. You can’t please everybody. A thick skin helps but, whatever you do, don’t give up. In this day and age, there is always self-publication. Many authors who decided to self-publish after rejection by traditional publishers have gone on to be successful. Wildly successful. These include Margaret Atwood, Lisa Genova, EL James, E. E. Cummings, and Mark Twain. There are also many media sites out there to highlight your work and begin creating your own readers. Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and blog sites are all public platforms to showcase your work. Literary magazines and newsletters are always looking for new material.

Whatever you do as a writer, DON’T GIVE UP. Keep writing, keep creating, keep dreaming.

Same Behaviour, Same Results

I had a dream last night and in my dream, I was part of a team of women who were working on some new creative project together. We were, however, running into obstacles and difficulties and things just weren’t gelling. In my dream, I ran into the room where these women were all seated and I exclaimed to them, “We can’t just keep doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results. We need to do something different!”

I am a firm believer in psychiatrist Carl Jung’s belief that dreams reflect the inner psyche, the unconscious mind. They are not just random thoughts or fantasies. By examining our dreams, we can explore the symbols and archetypes offered by the images to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves.

I awoke. The first thought in my mind was, I need to re-examine my life and think about it a little deeper. My dream, I believe, offered an important message to me. Now my next step is to let that little seed of advice guide me as to what needs to be changed in my life and decide how I am going to change it.

Do you believe that dreams are a reflection of our inner selves and can offer us new insights into our personal lives? I would love to hear about dreams that you feel have been significant and life-changing for you. BH

On Order and Chaos in the Garden

“The best gardens are a perfect balance of order and chaos. The tension created by the threatened balance is the pulse of the garden itself.”
~Helen Humphreys

Yesterday everything aligned so that I could eat my breakfast out on the back deck; the last word had been put in my book, there was nothing on the calendar, the rains had stopped, the sun was shining, and the temperature was perfect.

Sipping my morning coffee, I viewed my wild jungle of a garden that has continued to grow in spite of my busyness and neglect. Still there were pockets of beauty. I apologetically took a video as I walked through my overgrown garden and then shared it with friends. Not one of them saw a mess. Where I could only see weeds, they saw flowers. And many of the weeds had flowered themselves and were full of hungry bees and butterflies as they danced among the blossoms.

I began to see that there is a natural force in flowers and plants that will seek growth and new life wherever they are planted and in all conditions. Even with less care, and perhaps because of my dwindled care, they grew. And not only grew but thrived. Like a helicopter parent that constantly hovers over their children, planning, constructing, manipulating, we can be over zealous in our efforts to be good parents and gardeners. The flowers themselves know what they need and seek it. Do some weeding, clear the paths, provide the elements they need to grow; some water, sun, but don’t overdo it. Plants have a natural inherent knowledge within them and they will find a way. I pull out the “bullies,” those weeds that seek to dominate but leave some behind for even in them there is a natural grace and beauty.

Thank you garden, for continuing to grow, for continuing to teach me lessons.

Two Pennies

The following is a true story about an extraordinary happening this past weekend. I hope you enjoy it.

Two Pennies by Barbara Heagy

This past weekend I was out and about, first stop being a tailgate yard sale at a local collegiate fund-raising event. It was lunchtime so I decided to take advantage of a food truck on site that sold gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. When it came time to pay I decided to pay in cash, not something I do too often as I usually use my credit card, a carry-over from COVID days when we were all encouraged to use our cards rather than cash for health reasons.

“That’ll be $20.50,” the man told me. I handed him a $20 bill and then dug into my change purse for two quarters and handed them to him.

“Well, I haven’t seen one of these in a long time,” he said seeming rather amazed as he looked down at his palm. “A penny!”

I was surprised as I was sure I had given him just two 25 cent pieces and we haven’t seen pennies in Canada since 2013 when they were taken out of circulation. I had just returned from the States, so I assumed that an American penny had somehow gotten mixed up in my change purse which, in itself, was a bit strange as I had a separate wallet for my American money.

“Would you like it back?” he asked.

“Sure,” I replied.

As he handed it back to me, my mouth dropped open in surprise. In my hand was a very bright and shiny copper Canadian penny dated 2010. “Oh, my God, that’s the year Tom died.”

Still shaking my head in disbelief, I opened up my wallet to put the special penny away and again, much to my shock, there was another bright shiny penny. I took it out and checked the date on it. 2006! “That’s the year we were married,” I said aloud.

Where did these pennies come from? Is this a sign from above? A direct message from Tom? As I thought about him, I realized that not only was Father’s Day the next day and he was always called Poppa Tom by my girls, but it was also Tom’s birthday the same day, June 16.

Now, there are those who disbelieve and say, “You must have put those pennies there yourself as your own special reminder” but I know that I didn’t. Where would I have gotten what looked like newly minted pennies, especially since the last Canadian penny was minted over ten years ago? I thought too, Did someone in the family plant this wanting to surprise me? But, as my daughter Lara said, “I remember the year Tom died but I certainly didn’t remember the year you were married.” And I know with a certainty that my coin purse had been emptied completely by me just a few months before as I donated all my change to a busker. Besides, two pennies, one 18 years old, and the other 14 years would be tarnished with age, not shining and looking freshly minted.

Life is full of miracles. We just have to be open to them and recognize them when they happen. I think Tom was dropping in for a visit. Happy heavenly birthday, Tom!